Laughs....

[way_2_fun]

Post some good jokes here. (keep'em clean though. )
I'll start with one. This one cracks me up each time I hear it.

What kind of bee's make milk? Boobees

[sultana]

Post some good jokes here. (keep'em clean though. )
I'll start with one. This one cracks me up each time I hear it.

What kind of bee's make milk? Boobees

Hehe, can't be bothered digging through all the old topics to find the first joke topic, eh

[tcbil]

lol i have a good one on a communication between canada and the US navy its quite goo, just need to find it in English.

[CombatGold1]

Post some good jokes here. (keep'em clean though. )
I'll start with one. This one cracks me up each time I hear it.

What kind of bee's make milk? Boobees

hehe

[Paranoid Android]

George Bush has flown to Iraq to make peace negotiations with Saddam Hussein. They are sitting in a conference room, and Bush notices a set of 3 buttons on Hussein's chair. They begin talking and Saddam presses a button. He laughs as a boxing glove pops out of the table and punches Bush in the face. They carry on talking and Hussein presses the second button. Saddam chuckles evilly as a water-bomb falls on Bush's head. Bush says "Why don't you fly to America to visit me?". Saddam says he will, then presses the third button and laughs as Bush is kicked in the shins by a shoe that pops out from under the table.
A week later, Saddam arrives in Bush's office and notices a set of 3 buttons on Bush's chair. They begin talking and Bush presses the first button. Hussein braces himself to be punched in the face, but nothing happens. A while later, Bush presses the second button. Hussein ducks out the way of the water bomb which doesn't drop. As Hussein begins to lose his cool, Bush laughs and presses the third button. Saddam moves his legs to avoid being kicked by the shoe but nothing happens. Saddam stands up. "Sod this" he says "I'm going back to Baghdad"
Bus is rolling around on the floor laughing. "Baghdad?" he says. "What Baghdad?"

[way_2_fun]

Here's a redneck joke.

When do you know you're a redneck?
When your married 3 times and all your in-laws are still the same!

[andrew_99]

this is an oldie:



what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?



a stick

[spaceman-spiff]

joke
While travelling through the USA George Bush visits a primary school to talk to the children about politics. After he finished his speech, little Bob raises his hand:
"Mr. President, I have three questions for you:
1. How did you win the elections although you lost counting the votes?
2. Why do you want to attack the Iraq without any reason?
3. Don´t you think bombing Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack the world has ever seen?

At this moment the bell sounds and the children run out for lunch. After they come back Bush asks the children again for questions.

Little Joey raise his hand:
"Mr. President I have five questions for you:
1. How did you win the elections although you lost counting the votes?
2. Why do you want to attack the Iraq without any reason?
3. Don´t you think bombing Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack the world has ever seen?
4. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where is Bob?

[Prof. Frink]

lol i have a good one on a communication between canada and the US navy its quite goo, just need to find it in English.

This one maybe?

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[Omnislash]

joke
While travelling through the USA George Bush visits a primary school to talk to the children about politics. After he finished his speech, little Bob raises his hand:
"Mr. President, I have three questions for you:
1. How did you win the elections although you lost counting the votes?
2. Why do you want to attack the Iraq without any reason?
3. Don´t you think bombing Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack the world has ever seen?

At this moment the bell sounds and the children run out for lunch. After they come back Bush asks the children again for questions.

Little Joey raise his hand:
"Mr. President I have five questions for you:
1. How did you win the elections although you lost counting the votes?
2. Why do you want to attack the Iraq without any reason?
3. Don´t you think bombing Hiroshima was the biggest terrorist attack the world has ever seen?
4. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where is Bob?

ha.

[spaceman-spiff]

This one maybe?... This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Very good

[SHADOW-XIII]

This one maybe?... This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Very good

LOL .. it can't be true

[RaptorTycoon]

Very much being that an aircraft carrier never sails allone, and well...You gotta be VERY retarted not to see the difference between a lighthouse and a ship on da radar.......and theres a code on the radio...so....

[Omegamrk]

i juss found that one stupid

[tcbil]

lol i have a good one on a communication between canada and the US navy its quite goo, just need to find it in English.

This one maybe?

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Yep that is the one

[Lilman424]

There are 4 people on a small one-engined private plane: the pilot, G.W.B., the smartest man in the world, and a 3rd grader. The plane's engine breaks down and the pilot announces that they're going to crash. There are only 2 parachutes though.

G.W.B. says," I'm the most important person in the world, my country needs me (:roll:), and I'm taking a parachute." He takes a parachute, jumps, etc.

The smartest man in the world says, "I know everything, and i know that I'm taking a parachute."

After he jumps, the pilot turns to the 3rd grader and says," Well, I guess it's just you and me, kid."

The 3rd grader is laughing his head off.

Pilot asks, "Why are you laughing, kid? We're gonna die!"

The 3rd grader replies, "Maybe you are, but I'm not; the smartest man in the world just jumped off the plane with my backpack!"

[way_2_fun]

Haha, that's a classic. Here's another joke:

One teacher, who taught the kindergarten class, one day was teaching the alphabet. There was a problem though, the was a kid who always swore, his name was Johnny.

She started class. "Who can tell me something that starts with the letter A?" Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher of corse did not pick him...

Then she said "Who can tell me something with the letter B?" Again ,Johnny raised his hand, and wasn't picked to answer.

And then later as the teacher got down the alphabet, she came to 'R'. Johnny raised his hand to answer, the teacher could not think of a swear word that starts with R, so she picked Johnny. Johnny said "Rats" The teacher in shock replied, "Very good John---" Johnny cut her off. "Big f***ing Rats bigger than you ever f***ing seen, the damn biggest f***ing b****s."

[Xeo]