Corrupt a wish!

[Voyager One]

You somehow get to believe that an anaconda is the perfect pet for you. Needless to say, it eats you soon enough.

I wish that my ebay order finally arrives.

[acs121]

It arrives. However, there's C4 in it. It blows up. You die.

I wish that eBay didn't exist anymore.

[Expresso]

Now there are thousands of websites doing exactly the same. However, no eBay.

I wish to be a sadistic plumber.

[ChillCore]

You are but you get drowned by a major flood.

I wish to get back to one of my sweethearts ... there's three of them f*** ...

[acs121]

You have three of your three sweethearts. Now you have nine sweethearts.

I wish for Craigslist to disappear and get replaced by eBay.

[Expresso]

Ebay is now a monopolist who doesn't maintain its servers. They constantly crash and leak privacy sensitive information.

I wish to own something valuable.

[acs121]

You own 76,000 tonnes of gold ingots. However, the value of gold drops down to 0,0000000000000000000017 € per gram. It isn't valuable anymore.

I wish i was Iron Man.

[Expresso]

You're now a statue of a man made from iron.

I wish for a cheese.

[Tony Pixel]

But You got some melons.

I wish for coffee.

[acs121]

Same as YNM : it is extremely hot coffee. It burns your throat.

I wish to have Iron Man's superpowers.

[Expresso]

How are you going to use them, as you're a statue?

I wish to be immortal.

[Voyager One]

You become a rock. On the bottom of the ocean.

I wish I own ebay.

[Tony Pixel]

You bought it, but 1/10^100 second before that all eBay servrs are down, so You only lose Your money.

I wish for anything (even nothing).

[+] Spoiler

Ha-ha, what can You do against?

[Expresso]

You get tortured to a slow, painful death.

I wish to have a complete toolbox.

[Voyager One]

You get to be a tool in a very complete toolbox.

I wish to wish a wish about Expresso's wisful thinking about wishing a Merry Christmas with all best wishes.

[lukasz1985]

I wish for a pie.

[Expresso]

I wish for a cup of milk.

[ChillCore]

Almost granted but Expresso failed to jinx lukasz's wish and he failed to jinx yours... for that your wish fails to come true.

I wish for a pie.

I wish for a cup of milk.

You both get half a cake prepared with sour milk ... overdated by 18 months but you only taste it halfway thrue and have dhiarrea for six weeks after eating it ... for obvious reasons.

I wish for etarnal fame.

[ChillCore]

Woops ....

I wish to wish a wish about Expresso's wisful thinking about wishing a Merry Christmas with all best wishes.

^^^ I can't edit neither ... just saying ... anyhoo

[kamnet]

I wish for etarnal fame.

Misread as "eternal flame", which is granted. You become immolated, a memorial is built around you, and Debbie Gibson comes to sing at your opening. You are now eternal as well.

I wish I had strawberry wafers to enjoy.