Corrupt a wish!

[NoMorePacers]

It's made by British Leyland, which means that it falls apart as soon as you push the throttle pedal. Also, it's a Morris Marina, so a piano falls onto it.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[acs121]

She runs away when she sees you because you're ugly.

I wish to have 3 cats.

[NoMorePacers]

They die from AIDS when they get to your house.

I wish to have a girlfriend that would never leave me.

[acs121]

She doesn't, but she has AIDS.

I wish for 36 cats without any disease.

[NoMorePacers]

You do have 36 cats, but they are bits of 36 cats glued together into 1 cat,

I wish I never got any diseases.

[acs121]

Sure. But your girlfriend is sterile.

I wish i couldn't be sterile.

[NoMorePacers]

You forever smell of disinfectant, being locked away into the abyss of bad-smelling things.

I wish to have been born 10 years earlier.

[acs121]

You are born 10 years later.

I wish to have a Stadler KISS from the SBB in my garden.

[NoMorePacers]

Your garden was previously nuked by me so it doesn't exist anymore.

I wish to also nuke your house.

[acs121]

Your house is nuked.

I wish i could nuke you.

[NoMorePacers]

You forget what a nuke is and go home.

I wish to have an army of nukes.

[lukasz1985]

You have an army of tiny nukes for children to play with.

I wish I wasnt drunk

[NoMorePacers]

Instead you become intoxicated and die.

I wish to have an army of real nukes that explode.

[lukasz1985]

The nukes you have are too heavy to transport, so you die of a radiation.

I wish the air here didnt smell like s***

[Expresso]

It now smells like buttery acid.

I wish to have a new carpet.

[NoMorePacers]

The carpet is made of material that catches fire upon exposure to oxygen, which burns your house down.

I wish I had nukes that can explode that are also easy to transport.

[lukasz1985]

Your nukes now lack of rocket fuel, so you're still stuck with them and die of a radiation.

I wish for a McDonald's meal.

[NoMorePacers]

You get diabetes off it.

I wish for an army of nukes that can explode, are easy to transport and have unlimited rocket fuel.

[lukasz1985]

You nukes are of boomerang shape, so they nuke yourself after being fired.

I wish to live on Mars.

[NoMorePacers]

Mars wants nothing to do with you so it moves away from you.

I wish to be President of Russia.