Corrupt a wish!

[trainman1432]

To calm you down, we purchase a dog for you:
a Great Dane

I wish for better interwebs in the chinas

[Expresso]

You've got better coverage and higher speeds in China now, unfortunately they censor nearly everything now.

I wish for a desktop computer running my ideal Linux distribution.

[acs121]

Linux gets bankrupt, sadly, so you're forced to have Windows like everyone.

I wish summer existed in Finland.

[trainman1432]

Since you don't understand how Linux works (or what it even is) the Communist Linux Penguins overrun Finland and declare eternal winter.

I wish my laptop wasn't a warm potato battery

[Expresso]

It's cold now - since it melted and you disconnected it from power.

I wish for something delicious to eat.

[acs121]

You now have norwegian whale soup. Tasty !

I wish i wasn't trapped in snow yesterday.

[Expresso]

Yesterday you weren't. However, today and the rest of the month you are.

I wish the weather to be a bit cooler over here.

[acs121]

Great ! Now it is -80° C in Gouda !

I wish finnish summers were longer

[Expresso]

Summer all year now, turning Finland into a scorching desert.

I wish for some warm clothes.

[acs121]

They are too warm, you get too hot and die.

I wish Helsinki had 3 million inhabitants if not more. This town is too small right now.

[Expresso]

They're all living on 1 square kilometer.

I wish to have have a bbq.

[acs121]

It burns the entire Randstad.

I wish for yummy steaks.

[Expresso]

You get disgusting tough stakes with "yummy" written on them.

I wish for an electric guitar.

[acs121]

You get it for free, sadly you don't know how to play guitar.

I wish for France to win the World Cup.

[Expresso]

They win, only to be disqualified due to doping of all their players. France is disqualified for the next 10 years.

I wish for to be a legal expert, so I can craft an incorruptible wish.

[acs121]

You become an expert, but some jealous guy assasinates you.

I wish i was 6 years younger.

[Expresso]

Ok. You were never born.

I wish to be a polyglot (someone who speaks 3 or more languages fluently).

[acs121]

You learn danish and norwegian, but learn that there is no such thing as a single danish or norwegian language and that it changes languages every 5 kilometers, and you die trying to learn them.

I wish you hadn't posted this topic's 3400th message.

[Expresso]

I didn't; it's just a copy. The real topic is locked at 3398.

I wish I didn't have hodophobia (fear of traveling).

[acs121]

You now don't have fear of traveling, you suddenly want to admire spectacular points of view in a train in Norway, but the train just derails, falls off a fjord and you die.

I wish for good old Frankfurt sausages.