Corrupt a wish!

[Voyager One]

It doesn't end but you get banned from it. You're not even allowed to watch any more.

I wish for a new smartphone.

[NoMorePacers]

But it's an iPhone 6, so you bend it.

I wish to shoot Gideon and to hell with his Osbourneomics.

[kamnet]

The gun jams and you get your finger pinched in the trigger.

I wish I got more work than 40 hours in a month.

[lukasz1985]

You get a full time 5 to 8 job and you work 6 days a week. After month you wish you didn't wish this before.


I wish for a new home.

[NoMorePacers]

But it turns out to be full of asbestos.

I wish for the railways to be re-nationalised

[lukasz1985]

But it turns out to be full of asbestos.

I wish for the railways to be re-nationalised

They were:



I wish for a higher IQ.

[kamnet]

Your IQ becomes so high that you find you can no longer communicate to any other human.

I wish I had remembered that Eurovision Semifinals started almost 2 hours ago!

[NoMorePacers]

But Communists won, so you're screwed.

I wish I could kill David Cameron.

[kamnet]

Instead David Cameron shows up at your doorstop with a lovely pie, which you consume together. He then tells you it's poisoned and he swallowed the only antidote.

Breathing is nice. I wish this cold would go away so I could breathe again.

[trainman1432]

Breathing is nice. I wish this cold would go away so I could breathe again.

The cold goes away, only now you realize you have the utmost worst case of pneumonia, and die of drowning.
I wish newGRFs weren't hard to make, and everyone else wouldn't have to feel stress about taking forever

[lukasz1985]

They're easy if you understand and know the source code written in C++. But you dont understand that and dont know the internals.

I wish people had smaller signatures.

[trainman1432]

I changed mine to be smaller, and yours inflated about 30000 times

I wish for OpenTTD (lol)

[lukasz1985]

You get to play it on 80386DX @ 40Mhz with 16MB of RAM (as I did when I was 8 years old).

I wish for wine.

[kamnet]

All you get is poorly fermented dates.

I wish there was room for Jello.

[NoMorePacers]

But Jello gets killed by Islamic State terrorists.
I wish that I was PM...

[Awesometrains]

Ok.. as you wish , you are PM. Wait... it's 11:59 PM. Soon it will be AM . Goodbye.

I wish I was a Starfleet officer.

[kamnet]

You are promoted to red shirt security officer.

I also wish you were a storm trooper.

[Awesometrains]

Since a red shirt security officer is still a Starfleet officer , I am happy and do not want to become a stormtrooper.


I wish I was promoted to Lieutenant.

[kamnet]

You can't be promoted. As a Starfleet red shirt security officer, you already died.

I wish for nothing.

[Nathanxbox20]

You get a black hole. Oh no, the world is being sucked...
(The words disappear into your black hole)

I wish I had a hat.