Corrupt a wish!

[Expresso]

They contain a lot of laxatives. You end up s*** your intestines out.

I wish to smile.

[ChillCore]

You smile ...

- when your grandmother dies ...
- when you learn your aunt has cancer ... ... and then dies without giving you the chance to say adieu.(*)
- when your girlfriend leaves you for your best friend ...
- when your job becomes obsolete due to IA taking over ...
- when your kid turns out to be an major asshole ...
- when Orange Face With Fake Hair On Top gets re-elected in 2020 ...
- when you notice your cat spends more time with the neighbour then she does with you ... (**)


That silly grin you asked for is with you forever and ever and ever.


(*) If you have someone close with cancer I'm sorry ... so did I and I'm scared s*** ... it's a joke ok?
(**) This got to be te worst ...




I wish ... hmm .. to be poor as Job.

[Expresso]

You're poor alright, and nobody cares about you while you're freezing outside, because you haven't got a home.

I wish to suffer from cancer.

[ChillCore]

You noticice lumps on your upper arms, your inner thigs and on your test... test ...test ...icles.
Sure you wanna play this game? You're about to die as soon (in three weeks) as your liver no longer supports the treatment(*).

(*)You'll live longer without the treatment ... but you still die a horrible death ... *sniff*


I wish to be remembered forever.

[Expresso]

You're remembered forever as being far worse then Adolf Hitler.

I wish the afterlife to be perfect.

[kamnet]

Your afterlife is perfect. Perfectly tormented in the worst possible way by the person you disliked the most in life.

I wish to win both Powerball and Mega Millions lotteries in the same week.

[ChillCore]

You do ...

But you accepted the monthly payout instead of it all at once, getting screwed right there, and failed to inform your friends to not ask for s*** ... you're such a nice person that you can't refuse helping them ...
You're left with a minus 5000 a month while not losing enough to declare bankruptcy.

You die of old age an your kids inherit a 250 million debt.

[ChillCore]

I wish for the perfect game that has no DLC and no pre-order BS and that just lets me play offline whenever I want to play without blocking features for doing so.

ps: ^^^ I already have factorio.
pps :^^^ still no editing so new post and them other topics I don't even get a reply box .. my bad ... help Mr. Rudge
ppps. wheeeeee?

[kamnet]

You inherit a set of lawn darts from my impoverished estate, since my kids don't want them. You proceed to try to play them, only to stab yourself in the head.

I wish for more tofu.

[Expresso]

The tofu is poisoned. You die while eating it.

I wish for a space cake.

[kamnet]

It's made out of the spicy tofu that I didn't finish.

I wish for more power.

[Expresso]

You get struck by lightning.

I wish for a house.

[ChillCore]

[quote=Expresso]
You get struck by lightning.

I wish for a house.
[/quote]
You inherit a house ...
As you drive up to it, to inspect it, you look at it the wrong way and it crumbles to a pile of firewood that won't burn long ... it was built in 1759 and termites got to it.
You try to slap your forehead but your arm does not manage to raise above you elbow due to an overwhelming sting ... that cancer is catching up to you?


I wish for a boner like I used to have 20 years ago. :8

[Expresso]

I wish for that cancer to go away.

[ChillCore]

I wish for that cancer to go away.

As it turns out your file got confused with someone who differs one letter as you do.
He's dead now and you suffer from hemeroids ... badly ... you need the rubber patch ... the other symptoms are just old age.

/me limps off ...

I wish for a Lamborghini Aventador ... to compensate for the limp.
^^^ it get's there ... just not staying where it should for as long as it could ...

[Expresso]

I wish to own a bigger house.

[ChillCore]

...

what about ma boner and the car ... ??

I wish to own a bigger house.

It crumbled twice as hard .... built out of hardwood instead of pine ... but dates 1685 ...

[ChillCore]

I wish for ...

Experesso to follow the rules ...


^^^ still no editing so yeah ... I should have before ... I did not not and I can not .... bite me ... :njum njum P

[kamnet]

Expresso is a bad boy and breaks all the rules. He gets all the women, the cars, and the money. You're jealous that you wasted your wish on him.

I wish I didn't have to spend money fixing my car.

[Expresso]

Of course you don't. It's taken apart for you.

I wish to be the flying spaghetti monster.