Fortunately Unfortunately

[NoMorePacers]

Unfortunately, my farts are nuclear bombs and I destroy the whole of Helsinki while sat in the toilet.

[Expresso]

Fortunately, you sit in a nuke containing toilet.

[NoMorePacers]

Unfortunately, that toilet is also linked to the sea, which gives all of the world's oceans radioactivity.

[acs121]

Fortunately, you didn't blow up Helsinki because you live in Tampere.

[Expresso]

Unfortunately, the wind takes the radiation all over the world.

[NoMorePacers]

Fortunately, all bad people die of radiation poisoning.

[acs121]

Unfortunately, you need to get to hospital so you don't poop radioactive stuff anymore.

[NoMorePacers]

Fortunately, the hospital people all die of radiation so I don't get treated.

[acs121]

Unfortunately, you are threatened to die by radiation. It seems you're not totally immune.

[NoMorePacers]

Fortunately, that is just a scare and I am completely immune to radiation.

[acs121]

Unfortunately, you don't have radiation anymore, and you cannot be irradiated again. However, you catched a breast cancer, because you were born female.

[NoMorePacers]

Fortunately, I am also immune to all cancers.

[acs121]

Unfortunately, you aren't immune to AIDS.

[Gwyd]

Fortunately (to some extent I guess) you're so ugly that you have no way of getting aids

[NoMorePacers]

Unfortunately, he becomes President of Nuclear Finland.

[acs121]

Fortunately, this makes her beautiful now. Although now immunity to all cancers has disappeared.

[NoMorePacers]

Unfortunately, I am still immune to all cancers.

[acs121]

Fortunately, that turns out to be a good thing.

[Expresso]

Unfortunately, you now have infinite allergies.

[acs121]

Fortunately, that makes you only allergic to peaches.