[*]The strings and bassline clash in m. 3 and every similar instance. You're spelling a III chord in the strings which uses a Bb while the bassline is emphasizing that B by leaping down to it. You might want this effect, but it stood out unpleasantly to me.
Fixed that one, I just wrote the note down wrongly, as it was intented to be a Bb in the bassline. Well spotted!
[*]The bass gets in the way of the guitar during the guitar's part. Check out the ends of mm. 27 and 28. Those chromatic passing tones in the bass aren't doing you any favors. Simplify the bassline or get it out of the way somehow.
It's my personal flavor to keep these passing tones in, it gives a bluesy touch with the guitar solo and the bassline itself in my opinion, so I'd like to keep it this way.
[*]M. 38, again the bassline is out in left field while the other parts trying to get something done.
Again, fixed. Forgot to write new lines for the final part.
As for the strings, I chose them to fill the song a bit with more sounds, and it sounds well in my opinion, so let's hear some more opinions on that point. I only changed the piano part in m.30, as that one was experimental, as I couldn't get the right chords down. 29 and 31 remain the same, as it gives some (as you already state) progressive touch to the song, which I like.
What you said about the ending of m.16. I don't believe that's a ripoff, it's just a standard riff used in jazz- and blues-music, so it's not really copying.
Again about the harmony part, I chose to keep it simple, that's all. I'll be working on more variable strings though.
The next two points are just a matter of taste. I like laying down a starting bottom to build up. In example here, the bassline starts, with the drumming pattern and some strings. Then the trumpets kick in, and when they are finished, the piano and the guitar kicks in. I adapted this style of song writing from my jazz-sessions. At these sessions everyone plays after eachother. You first get a trumpet solo on the basics, then a guitar solo, piano, flute, etc etc..
Cheers at the final point! At least you've shown me that you know I think a lot, and re-write a lot when composing a song. This one took 5 hours already, for just 2 minutes of music.
It sounds a bit muddy, at least in this render, using fluidsynth and the fluid GM soundfont.http://fuzzle.org/~petern/ottd/Audio-1264879973.ogg
Whoa! What kind of MIDI table was that?
It sounds an awefull lot different here. I'll try to convert this one to .mp3, hang on.
EDIT: And the new version, of course
EDIT2: Here's what it sounds like here.