... ring ring ... ring ring ... click
"Hello ... John? Yeah it's me. I need your help buddy."
"Could you come over to our fishing spot?"
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"Yeah the spot at the foot of the mountains. Bring your shotgun John, and some bear slugs; I think we might need them!"
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"What happened you ask? This thing is right there staring at me. Circling the tree I am in and whenever I try to get down it comes at me ..."
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"I don't know what to call it. It's a thinglike thing. It looks like a train's engine and it hisses at me."
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"It hisses."
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"IT HISSES ... like a SNAKE or something like that ... Tsssssssssss tsssssssss, you know TSSSSSSS ... it hisses.
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"Yeah, something like that. Turn that TV down will you?"
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"Thanks ... much better yeah."
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"I don't know what it is ... did I not just say that?"
"It has weird colours and gives of some glow ... it has some kind of superman symbol on it and it has weird looking eyes too ..."
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"No it doesn't fly."
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"Yeah I'm serious. It reminds me a bit of that movie I once saw ... Max Drive'r Over or something like that by Clive King or someone like that ... yeah that movie with the machines going crazy and the the truckstop's waitress being attacked by the meat cutter."
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"No I'm not drunk and what do you mean ... again?"
"Pink elephants on rollerscates raiding my fridge at three thirty AM ... yeah I know ... look that was years ago and since then ..."
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"Anyway I'm up in this tree ..."
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"No I can not get down by myself; I just told you! It attacks me whenever I try to move!"
"Look for yourself then if you don't believe me; I've got some pics on my phone I'll send them to you."
"Just get in your car now and get over here ... please ..."
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"Thanks mate! See you in a bit."
"Oh John ... mind stepping on the gas a bit ... and bringing some paper too?"
"I have to make a number two; I was on my way to 'the' tree when this thing attacked"

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"Ok t'ill then."
"I'll send you those photos."